If you think my family and I have strong bonds, you are wrong. If you think my parents and I get along, you are wrong. If you think I have a normal family, you are wrong. My father hates me and never treated me as a real daughter. He only treats my younger sister and brother like his own child. As for my older sister and I, well, we are known as “adopted” or in Chinese translated, “wild children.” He doesn’t treat us like his own children. As children, I mean his own flesh and blood. Sometimes, I really believe he isn’t my biological father. He really isn’t. I don’t think my real father would treat me like that. I think my mother married another man, had my sister and I, and then divorced. Then he married this guy and now he treats us like dirt. He makes us feel like trash, like garbage and tosses us around. He makes us feel like crap. Ever since I was little, I never really actually had a father. A father who would take care of the house, a father to care for me, a father who would protect me. This guy, who I call my dad, doesn’t treat me anything like a daughter, or even a person in our family. He treats my friends even better than how he treats me. I feel horrible everyday. He never yells at my younger sister, and if she does something wrong, I get the blame for it. If there is something wrong, I get the blame for it. I don’t understand. I am his own child (or maybe not), but he treats me like someone he doesn’t know. He drinks all the time, gets drunk, and starts yelling. You can really tell I don’t like him very much. Why? Because he lowers me down in the family. He makes me feel like dirt and I lose all my self-confidence. He breaks me down bit by bit and then tosses me out like trash.
Today, he was rambling about our cousin and how he messes everything up during dinner. I told everyone to just eat, because all this tension is stupid and I don’t want any drama when we were eating. He leaves the room and then when we are all done with dinner, he tells my grandma bad stuff about me. Then he starts yelling about how I don’t treat him correctly and said he would never drive me again. He told me to think about my actions. Guess what? I still don’t think I said anything wrong and I won’t admit I did ANYTHING wrong. If he won’t drive me, I will take the bus. I will take the bus all by myself if I have to early in the morning. I am the only one to wake my siblings up and without me, they will be tardy. Without me, they are nothing. Without me, they will not survive. So either my siblings take the school bus with me, or they suffer the wrath of me. I don’t really care and it’s their choice. I am not sorry and I don’t really care. I’ve been realizing his real intentions of treating me like dirt for the longest times. Ever since when I was young, when I came to America, I knew he chooses favorites. And I knew I wasn’t one of them. When I was little, I knew he treated my younger sister better than I did. And now, I know for a fact he doesn’t treat me like a person. But now, I don’t care anymore. He treats me like a “wild child” and he gets what he deserves. Treat others how you wanted to be treated. He didn’t follow that rule, so why should I? He never treated me like a daughter, so who cares if I didn’t treat him like a father. I tried so hard everyday even calling his name when I see him at the door. I hesitate because I can’t. I can’t say “dad” to someone who might not even be my father. I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore.
But I won’t lose. I will never lose to somebody like him. If he wants to play that game, I could play too. I would not really care about him. I could learn how to drive and not need him ANYMORE. I don’t care. I don’t care. He’s always threatening me on not driving me to school. But whatever. I will take the bus. I wake up every morning at 5 am anyways. I don’t CARE!
